Monthly Archives: May 2010


Sometimes I wonder how it is that I’ve managed to get where I am, as if I’m living in a tunnel with one exit out into the light, and the circuitous route there, is being built with each step I take.

This year, time itself is moving so fast. Each second, every minute, is less intangible than the last. The things I remember are hazy, a blur moving pictures on fast–forward. Scary. I wonder if this is what a mid-life crisis feels like?


Emily’s love for her home is almost obsessive: the ivy, the lilies, the cobblestone patio, the crown molding. It’s easy to have house envy with all that she has done with the space. I admire her determination to have a space that is rooted in herself that is her own history. 

When I think of what I have in my home, the memories and tokens that invoke scenes of the past are few. From having always lived in the same house, I purge the non-essential items: the books, the photos, the clothing, and the dishware. Every expert organizer guides you to believe that your memory will last longer than the object itself. I think perhaps that is a wrong assumption, what happens when it is your memory that is lost?

Kristin and I were talking about this last night: she encouraged me to start looking for my own but where? The voice of where to live, where to go is a soft whisper hiding in the recesses of my mind, if it exists somewhere how will I know where to look. This house on Stanton Street … is there one somewhere that will call to me?


My dream: seven of us at a tropical destination the image of untouched sand and palm trees; a dialogue about what to do next, where to go next. It is not Antigua, somewhere surreal and almost fantastical like a computer screensaver. There is a woman fallen ill, who needs a restroom. She knocks on my door and my room is my heart.

Wind in my face

Disenchanted life:
Subdue me from the mayhem,
And then, let me go.

enem me

misplaced, forgotten
sometimes that’s how I feel. As
if i’m missing me

and where I’m supposed
to be, right here right now. me.
Today the sun shone

down, caught me off guard.
On this day my mind’s drifting
along, unaware.

Suddenly shaken
awake, forced to see:
I’m floating in space.

One moment disrupts
my oblivion,
from life’s big story.

One day I hope for
courage to fight the demons
(child-like and yet real)

to free myself once
and for all: my worst
enemy is me.

LOST: Redemption

The battle between good and evil has ended, at least for the survivors of Oceanic 815. Their journey through purgatory, their supernatural redemption.

I’m not sure if I understand, if we’re meant to truly understand.

Much of what is experienced in life  is left unanswered in death, especially for those left behind. Those still breathing (in this case the audience) are plagued with questions, and the ideas of what the answers could be emerge based on their own personal experience with those ‘lost’.  That is a rational reaction to simple story, and once you add in parallel worlds, memory and the possibility of slipping back and forth between them all, a whole other meaning (or meanings) unveils itself.

The characters of the show, the challenges they face, their connection to one another that is the story one must revisit (because you know die hard fans will rewatch all 6 seasons just to see what, if anything, they missed). The introduction of ancillary characters, representations of the demons haunting the ‘survivors’ –some of which brought reconciliation and peace–i.e., the love affair between Shannon and Sayid (I had totally forgotten about that).

And yet so many questions remain, and I’m sure there will be much talk about all of them online and at the water cooler today.

For starters:

Why was there a ‘living’ character in that last scene: Penny (as in pennies from heaven?  A little cheeky if so….)

Why did Daniel Widmore-Farraday’s mother question Desmond about ‘taking’ him? Daniel is post-crash and Charlotte did not experience a ‘memory’ in ‘present time’ even though Daniel hints to Desmond about the feeling (I think I need to rewatch that episode.)

Did Desmond need to save Jack in order to save himself (he–& Penny of course–was the only one not on the plane that was in the church, flashback — “I’ll see you in another life, brother”)?

How does Charles Widmore that is fit into this?


Recall and thoughts from last episode of LOST:

An interesting pairing, Hurley as lead ‘angel’, Ben as #2 (reference to It’s A Wonderful Life’s Clarence and his wings) — more redemption, they lead the others home as Jack learns to let go.

Kate’s reaction to the name of Jack’s father “Christian Shepherd” – “Really?”

Was the ‘smoke monster’ the devil or the demons?